Somerset to Launch Space Mission!

The trouble with eye-catching headlines is that there's always someone who will read the underlying article.

Take this one, that we have already commented on. Rather appropriate to re-visit the topic on the day that most of South Somerset ground to a halt due to uncleared snow - YET AGAIN!

Remember how Daffer Jones asked for a calculator a few days back? He was looking at this press release, and started going on about how he'd found the most idiotic claim ever to come out of SCC's £4million per year spin machine ... "an absolute whopper!"

"Look," said Daff, "go on the SCC website, and find statistics."

"OK," I said.

"Right, and so what is the surface area of Somerset?"

"Well, it says here 3,452 square kilometres, but that's the 2001 figure, it's probably grown since Jonesy arrived."

"Sod that," growled Daffer, "now look at what they said about the 'excellent', 'dedicated', 'fantastic' and 'amazing' job they did on the snow."

“We’ve treated in excess of 40,000 sq km with salt in the last week." I read.

"Right," said Daffer, handing me the calculator, "and what's 40,000 divided by 3,452?"

"er, 11 point five eight seven four eight five five one ..."

"all right, all right," Daffer interrupted, "so to any normal person that means they claimed to have coated the whole county in salt twelve times that week, OK?"

"Yeah ... so?"

"That's the ENTIRE SURFACE AREA of the county, TWELVE TIMES OVER, you idiots, not just the A & B roads, but ALL the roads, plus all the fields, the moors, the forests, EVERYTHING. TWELVE TIMES OVER!"

"Bloody Hell, Daff, you're right, that includes all the countryside and everything ..." I said, finally realising what he was on about.

"And all the gardens and driveways too ..." said Pat helpfully.

"Not to mention all the hills and beaches," said someone else.

"And even the Salt Marshes!" added the landlord, shaking his head in wonderment. He normally keeps out of these things but was now finally beginning to comprehend the enormity of the, er, lie(?).

"That's right," said Daff, "and twelve times over, and in just one week."

Who needs Albert Einstein when you've got a sailor with "O" Level maths at the bar?