... as Paul Buchanan is convicted of Organisational Terrorism in Taunton's first ever Show Trial, and confirming the validity of the Dog & Duck Code of Conduct for Somerset County Councillors!
Presumably this puts any of the new members who may have been considering asking questions "on notice".
It also confirms that it really wasn't worth getting out of bed for last month's elections.
Don't want to be smug or anything ... but we were right all along!
Thursday, 16 July 2009
Wednesday, 15 July 2009
Flushed with Exc**ment?
Now is this really a £4 million headline?
Somerset taxpayers (all 190,000 of us) pay £20 each a year for Council spin, and we really do deserve better.
Even Alan (the 21st Century's answer to Judge Jeffreys?) wrote a better article on famous Taunton Toilets.
Perhaps the inspiration came while he was trawling? That might explain where the evidence of willingness came from!
Somerset taxpayers (all 190,000 of us) pay £20 each a year for Council spin, and we really do deserve better.
Even Alan (the 21st Century's answer to Judge Jeffreys?) wrote a better article on famous Taunton Toilets.
Perhaps the inspiration came while he was trawling? That might explain where the evidence of willingness came from!
Friday, 10 July 2009
Taunton Terror Trials - End Game?
The "incompetence or malice?" issue should finally be resolved in Taunton next week.
Let us be confident that the judges will do their jobs properly and establish who's who in the world of Somerset Terror, with no more evasion, distraction, distortion or spin.
Incredible as it may sound (especially to the regulars down at the Dog & Duck who have had experience), the story this time is that the Forces of Excellence were in fact the victims of bullying. Yep, that's right, same as perpetrators, but in reverse!
Now this may sound like a sick joke, but let us remember that an acknowledged "culture of bullying" was one of the building blocks of Excellence as Somerset knows it. Also, a lot of people now have experience of living under Excellence. They will know that it is has been standard management practice for anyone who asks unhelpful questions to be branded a "bully".
However, up until now, that has been a purely internal procedure. To the outside world, dissenters have always been presented as "Organizational Terrorists", at least since Venice. This implies some sort of subversive underground movement, rather than a display of jackbooted authority. And it's pretty obvious why - imagine headlines in the Sun:
Mouse Terrorises Cat!; or
Somerset Worm Scares Birds!
Anyone who wants the full background to the sordid little saga could do worse than check out Hansard. (P.S. - nice to see someone standing up for a political opponent for a change!)
As for next week, everyone at the D&D says:
Let us be confident that the judges will do their jobs properly and establish who's who in the world of Somerset Terror, with no more evasion, distraction, distortion or spin.
Incredible as it may sound (especially to the regulars down at the Dog & Duck who have had experience), the story this time is that the Forces of Excellence were in fact the victims of bullying. Yep, that's right, same as perpetrators, but in reverse!
Now this may sound like a sick joke, but let us remember that an acknowledged "culture of bullying" was one of the building blocks of Excellence as Somerset knows it. Also, a lot of people now have experience of living under Excellence. They will know that it is has been standard management practice for anyone who asks unhelpful questions to be branded a "bully".
However, up until now, that has been a purely internal procedure. To the outside world, dissenters have always been presented as "Organizational Terrorists", at least since Venice. This implies some sort of subversive underground movement, rather than a display of jackbooted authority. And it's pretty obvious why - imagine headlines in the Sun:
Mouse Terrorises Cat!; or
Somerset Worm Scares Birds!
Anyone who wants the full background to the sordid little saga could do worse than check out Hansard. (P.S. - nice to see someone standing up for a political opponent for a change!)
As for next week, everyone at the D&D says:
Good Luck Paul!
Tuesday, 7 July 2009
£200 million .... it's contagious!
Poor old Albert Einstein!
The list of mathematical mysteries awaiting his return from the loonybin is growing and growing.
None of the rest of us is a comparable internationally famous genius, but we can see the makings of yet another mathematical conundrum.
The list of mathematical mysteries awaiting his return from the loonybin is growing and growing.
None of the rest of us is a comparable internationally famous genius, but we can see the makings of yet another mathematical conundrum.
According to press reports Essex County Council is planning to follow us down the IBM / SAP crevasse, and guess how much they expect to save?
£200 million!!!!
What are the chances of that? With three times the population of Somerset (and three times the budget), they are going to save exactly the same amount!
Of course it is always possible that Essex did actually do one of those Business Case things, perhaps even in advance of the decision to go down the route of chaotic innovation (or should that be "innovative chaos"?). It's also possible that they have got a load of sums and evidence and whatever that could explain the £200 million.
It's possible.
Monday, 29 June 2009
Still Sapping Somerset
If Bullying is the hallmark of Excellence in Somerset, then surely SAP must be its pinnacle. An enterprise-wide solution (aka "a Problem in Disguise") costing tens of millions of pounds, being managed by a foreign body, is held up as the ultimate achievement of the Excellence Years (2003-2009).
So it was a bit of a disappointment to be joined by someone claiming to be a "School Bursar" when we were discussing it down at the Dog & Duck last night.
A growing number of regulars work for organisations who are owed money by SAP but have not been paid, ("it's getting silly!" is the sort of facile statement we are having to put up with from ignorant yokels who do contracting or whatever for the Council).
'You think you've got problems,' said the Bursar, 'schools haven't been able to reconcile SIMS to SAP since the beginning of the year!'
'Huh?' chorused the ignorant yokels.
'What's that got to do with how I'm supposed to pay my wages tomorrow?' yelled some lout from the bar.
'What's a SIM?' asked Daffer.
'SIMS' the Bursar corrected him. 'It's the schools' management system, what we do our accounts on.'
Now, if Albert Einstein were still with us, he would have understood immediately. But for the rest of us, this poor Bursar chappie had to spell it out before we would allow him to go back to drowning his sorrows at the bar.
It seems that the County spends most of our money (hundreds of millions a year, in fact) through schools, and the schools all do their own budgeting. Now, due to the SAP débâcle, none of them can check that they've got it right this year, and if they haven't .... well they won't find out about it until it's too late anyway.
None of which will explain how SAP's creditors are supposed to pay their wages this week ... :-(
So it was a bit of a disappointment to be joined by someone claiming to be a "School Bursar" when we were discussing it down at the Dog & Duck last night.
A growing number of regulars work for organisations who are owed money by SAP but have not been paid, ("it's getting silly!" is the sort of facile statement we are having to put up with from ignorant yokels who do contracting or whatever for the Council).
'You think you've got problems,' said the Bursar, 'schools haven't been able to reconcile SIMS to SAP since the beginning of the year!'
'Huh?' chorused the ignorant yokels.
'What's that got to do with how I'm supposed to pay my wages tomorrow?' yelled some lout from the bar.
'What's a SIM?' asked Daffer.
'SIMS' the Bursar corrected him. 'It's the schools' management system, what we do our accounts on.'
Now, if Albert Einstein were still with us, he would have understood immediately. But for the rest of us, this poor Bursar chappie had to spell it out before we would allow him to go back to drowning his sorrows at the bar.
It seems that the County spends most of our money (hundreds of millions a year, in fact) through schools, and the schools all do their own budgeting. Now, due to the SAP débâcle, none of them can check that they've got it right this year, and if they haven't .... well they won't find out about it until it's too late anyway.
None of which will explain how SAP's creditors are supposed to pay their wages this week ... :-(
Wednesday, 17 June 2009
What the SAP ...
Monday, 15 June 2009
A farewell to Excellence?
It has been pointed out to us that without Bullying we may also have to say au revoir (sorry, that should read “adieu”, get it right Duck!) to our old friend Excellence.
As for whatever it was that would have lain “Beyond Excellence”, well without the Bully Boys to tell us we’ve reached it, that will return to the realms of Scientific Impossibility. (Hey! Maybe that will speed Albert Einstein’s return from the Loony Bin! Ed.)
You see, as we have hinted in the past (but not properly explained – yet), there is an inextricable link between Excellence and Bullying in Somerset. It’s to do with these people from London and Brussels and places like that, who send little men called “inspectors” to Somerset. We’ll get Carla to explain how it works – next time she is in Somerset.
Meanwhile, we just hope that the new members will realise that the ignorant yokels won’t even notice if they shed the plus, or even a star or two. In fact, if it means more resources for libraries, PMCs, roads, achievement, care, etc. …. then we may actually welcome it!
As for whatever it was that would have lain “Beyond Excellence”, well without the Bully Boys to tell us we’ve reached it, that will return to the realms of Scientific Impossibility. (Hey! Maybe that will speed Albert Einstein’s return from the Loony Bin! Ed.)
You see, as we have hinted in the past (but not properly explained – yet), there is an inextricable link between Excellence and Bullying in Somerset. It’s to do with these people from London and Brussels and places like that, who send little men called “inspectors” to Somerset. We’ll get Carla to explain how it works – next time she is in Somerset.
Meanwhile, we just hope that the new members will realise that the ignorant yokels won’t even notice if they shed the plus, or even a star or two. In fact, if it means more resources for libraries, PMCs, roads, achievement, care, etc. …. then we may actually welcome it!
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