After all, Daffer Jones has been sailing close to the wind on the seven seas for centuries now, braving hurricane, tsunami and pirate. Albert spent decades turning the international scientific community upside down before SCC's version of arithmetic caused his nervous breakdown. And Pat, of course, is renowned for keeping absentee husbands on their toes (well, if you live in Somerset, and work in London ... what do you expect?).
So we are no stranger to the taking of extreme risks in pursuit of worthy goals.
Which seems to be what SouthWestOne is all about (at least, that's what the rest of the South West seems to think - well, the "extreme risk" bit anyway).
However, someone who declined to leave a name (probably an SCC employee with a P45 allergy) very kindly left us a link to this extraordinary leaflet.
[since this post was, well, "posted", the forces of Excellence have removed the leaflet from public view, so that it can no longer be scrutinised. Luckily we downloaded it at the Dog & Duck, so email us if you want a good laugh, and we'll send you a copy! Ed.]
If you look closely (at the small print right at the end) you will see that it is "printed in the USA".
The reason why they do not seem to have been able to persuade anyone in Somerset to do the printing will become obvious to anyone who reads the thing. In addition to the familiar chorus of Excellence and Transformation, there is a brand new and extremely specific number to scratch our heads over:
"... savings in all areas for the three government agencies are expected to be 376 million pounds ($553 million) over 10 years ..."
Blimey!
That rules out any scope for "rounding differences" (as in £140,000,000 + £17,000,000 = £200,000,000 ... rounding to one significant figure, an extremely significant figure in Somerset, as it happens).
It's a good job Albert Einstein is in an old-fashioned straightjacket and receiving regular doses of ECT - 'cos heaven alone knows what he'd make of this lot!
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