Nice to see that there's going to be a "CrackDown" on a certain type of abuse (not drug-induced).
Until you read on and discover that this will consist of merely "investigating the cost" of the abuse. A hint of the official outcome of the investigation is even disclosed by a Government Minister, who says that "it is not acceptable".
In other words, all Down & no Crack!
As usual, here in Somerset we know the outcome of the investigation before it even starts. The answer, of course, is £200,000,000.
And the miserable yokels are still crying into their cider down at the Dog & Duck. Knowing that we will be able to say "we told you so" is no comfort at all.
Wednesday, 26 August 2009
Thursday, 6 August 2009
SomerBlogging on ...
... despite Alan's precipitate departure following the change of little government?
We had kind of expected things to settle down a bit. You know? But then someone showed us this new blog.
It's one of the "Political" ones, and we would not normally want to comment, but the peculiar thing is that the Party has changed (all the previous ones were to do with the ancien régime and we suspected that some or all were fakes ...).
The other peculiar thing is that we have read through it several times and cannot figure out if it is genuine or a hoax!
As you may recall, we are always alert to the possibility of fakes ....
Any enlightenment would be welcome. On this, or indeed, any other matter!
We had kind of expected things to settle down a bit. You know? But then someone showed us this new blog.
It's one of the "Political" ones, and we would not normally want to comment, but the peculiar thing is that the Party has changed (all the previous ones were to do with the ancien régime and we suspected that some or all were fakes ...).
The other peculiar thing is that we have read through it several times and cannot figure out if it is genuine or a hoax!
As you may recall, we are always alert to the possibility of fakes ....
Any enlightenment would be welcome. On this, or indeed, any other matter!
Friday, 31 July 2009
Friday the 31st
So an observation from the regulars would seem appropriate, and it goes like this:
Victims of bullying are like spilt milk - not worth crying over. As we have said all along.
All the Forces of Excellence have to do is apply a bit of heat, either with a blowtorch or a P45, and the stuff evaporates leaving nothing but a stain and a bad smell.
Then if they can string things out for long enough, even that disappears!
Victims of bullying are like spilt milk - not worth crying over. As we have said all along.
All the Forces of Excellence have to do is apply a bit of heat, either with a blowtorch or a P45, and the stuff evaporates leaving nothing but a stain and a bad smell.
Then if they can string things out for long enough, even that disappears!
Wednesday, 29 July 2009
Who Pays Wins! ...
... is the motto of the"Special Excellence Service", or SES as some would have it.
Down at the D&D we reckon that this is in fact a load of bollox, as WE were the ones who paid for it all, and we most definitely did not win!
Anyway, for anyone who wants to see what the legal system does when someone without representation goes up against someone with unrestricted access to our wallets ... click here.
(WARNING! Link should not be attempted by miners or people suffering from high blood pressure, or indeed anyone who would rather that their illusions remain intact. Ed.)
Down at the D&D we reckon that this is in fact a load of bollox, as WE were the ones who paid for it all, and we most definitely did not win!
Anyway, for anyone who wants to see what the legal system does when someone without representation goes up against someone with unrestricted access to our wallets ... click here.
(WARNING! Link should not be attempted by miners or people suffering from high blood pressure, or indeed anyone who would rather that their illusions remain intact. Ed.)
Friday, 17 July 2009
Somerset's Lottery
Like our legal system, SAP in Somerset is something of a lottery. And it seems you don’t even need to buy a ticket!
A couple of winners were celebrating in the D&D last night, buying drinks all round, after finally being paid.
OK, so they had to wait 4 months, but to compensate them, SAP paid twice. Apparently this made up for all the extra administrative charges and interest they had incurred in the struggle to get paid at all.
Halfway through the evening, another yokel rolled in with an even broader grin on his face. He had also been paid, and, wait for it, hadn’t even sent in an invoice! Drinks all round once again.
Now if I tell you that all this merriment and drunken revelry was taking place at the North end of the bar … then perhaps you can guess what happened next?
Because down at the South end, sullen losers whose payments are four months overdue were still drowning their SAP sorrows, and hearing that someone had won the SAP Lottery without even buying a ticket, their mood turned even uglier than usual.
According to Daffer, the ensuing fracas, and the landlord's panic stricken 999 call to the Police ("no-one in the area, sorry", needless to say), were instrumental in helping Jonesy to finally admit that the game was up.
So he's given a paltry 2 weeks notice, and after this month's payday will leave us a memorable legacy:
Chaos;
Confusionism;
Jonesian Mathematics (aka x+y=200 million);
Discredited Local Democracy; and
The SAP about to hit the fan!
It's hard to believe they're all being so polite about it. Consensus down at the D&D is
A couple of winners were celebrating in the D&D last night, buying drinks all round, after finally being paid.
OK, so they had to wait 4 months, but to compensate them, SAP paid twice. Apparently this made up for all the extra administrative charges and interest they had incurred in the struggle to get paid at all.
Halfway through the evening, another yokel rolled in with an even broader grin on his face. He had also been paid, and, wait for it, hadn’t even sent in an invoice! Drinks all round once again.
Now if I tell you that all this merriment and drunken revelry was taking place at the North end of the bar … then perhaps you can guess what happened next?
Because down at the South end, sullen losers whose payments are four months overdue were still drowning their SAP sorrows, and hearing that someone had won the SAP Lottery without even buying a ticket, their mood turned even uglier than usual.
According to Daffer, the ensuing fracas, and the landlord's panic stricken 999 call to the Police ("no-one in the area, sorry", needless to say), were instrumental in helping Jonesy to finally admit that the game was up.
So he's given a paltry 2 weeks notice, and after this month's payday will leave us a memorable legacy:
Chaos;
Confusionism;
Jonesian Mathematics (aka x+y=200 million);
Discredited Local Democracy; and
The SAP about to hit the fan!
It's hard to believe they're all being so polite about it. Consensus down at the D&D is
Good Riddance!
:-)
We also think it would be nice if he could take some of his noodly appendages with him. Or is that just being greedy?
Thursday, 16 July 2009
A lesson for us all ...
... as Paul Buchanan is convicted of Organisational Terrorism in Taunton's first ever Show Trial, and confirming the validity of the Dog & Duck Code of Conduct for Somerset County Councillors!
Presumably this puts any of the new members who may have been considering asking questions "on notice".
It also confirms that it really wasn't worth getting out of bed for last month's elections.
Don't want to be smug or anything ... but we were right all along!
Presumably this puts any of the new members who may have been considering asking questions "on notice".
It also confirms that it really wasn't worth getting out of bed for last month's elections.
Don't want to be smug or anything ... but we were right all along!
Wednesday, 15 July 2009
Flushed with Exc**ment?
Now is this really a £4 million headline?
Somerset taxpayers (all 190,000 of us) pay £20 each a year for Council spin, and we really do deserve better.
Even Alan (the 21st Century's answer to Judge Jeffreys?) wrote a better article on famous Taunton Toilets.
Perhaps the inspiration came while he was trawling? That might explain where the evidence of willingness came from!
Somerset taxpayers (all 190,000 of us) pay £20 each a year for Council spin, and we really do deserve better.
Even Alan (the 21st Century's answer to Judge Jeffreys?) wrote a better article on famous Taunton Toilets.
Perhaps the inspiration came while he was trawling? That might explain where the evidence of willingness came from!
Friday, 10 July 2009
Taunton Terror Trials - End Game?
The "incompetence or malice?" issue should finally be resolved in Taunton next week.
Let us be confident that the judges will do their jobs properly and establish who's who in the world of Somerset Terror, with no more evasion, distraction, distortion or spin.
Incredible as it may sound (especially to the regulars down at the Dog & Duck who have had experience), the story this time is that the Forces of Excellence were in fact the victims of bullying. Yep, that's right, same as perpetrators, but in reverse!
Now this may sound like a sick joke, but let us remember that an acknowledged "culture of bullying" was one of the building blocks of Excellence as Somerset knows it. Also, a lot of people now have experience of living under Excellence. They will know that it is has been standard management practice for anyone who asks unhelpful questions to be branded a "bully".
However, up until now, that has been a purely internal procedure. To the outside world, dissenters have always been presented as "Organizational Terrorists", at least since Venice. This implies some sort of subversive underground movement, rather than a display of jackbooted authority. And it's pretty obvious why - imagine headlines in the Sun:
Mouse Terrorises Cat!; or
Somerset Worm Scares Birds!
Anyone who wants the full background to the sordid little saga could do worse than check out Hansard. (P.S. - nice to see someone standing up for a political opponent for a change!)
As for next week, everyone at the D&D says:
Let us be confident that the judges will do their jobs properly and establish who's who in the world of Somerset Terror, with no more evasion, distraction, distortion or spin.
Incredible as it may sound (especially to the regulars down at the Dog & Duck who have had experience), the story this time is that the Forces of Excellence were in fact the victims of bullying. Yep, that's right, same as perpetrators, but in reverse!
Now this may sound like a sick joke, but let us remember that an acknowledged "culture of bullying" was one of the building blocks of Excellence as Somerset knows it. Also, a lot of people now have experience of living under Excellence. They will know that it is has been standard management practice for anyone who asks unhelpful questions to be branded a "bully".
However, up until now, that has been a purely internal procedure. To the outside world, dissenters have always been presented as "Organizational Terrorists", at least since Venice. This implies some sort of subversive underground movement, rather than a display of jackbooted authority. And it's pretty obvious why - imagine headlines in the Sun:
Mouse Terrorises Cat!; or
Somerset Worm Scares Birds!
Anyone who wants the full background to the sordid little saga could do worse than check out Hansard. (P.S. - nice to see someone standing up for a political opponent for a change!)
As for next week, everyone at the D&D says:
Good Luck Paul!
Tuesday, 7 July 2009
£200 million .... it's contagious!
Poor old Albert Einstein!
The list of mathematical mysteries awaiting his return from the loonybin is growing and growing.
None of the rest of us is a comparable internationally famous genius, but we can see the makings of yet another mathematical conundrum.
The list of mathematical mysteries awaiting his return from the loonybin is growing and growing.
None of the rest of us is a comparable internationally famous genius, but we can see the makings of yet another mathematical conundrum.
According to press reports Essex County Council is planning to follow us down the IBM / SAP crevasse, and guess how much they expect to save?
£200 million!!!!
What are the chances of that? With three times the population of Somerset (and three times the budget), they are going to save exactly the same amount!
Of course it is always possible that Essex did actually do one of those Business Case things, perhaps even in advance of the decision to go down the route of chaotic innovation (or should that be "innovative chaos"?). It's also possible that they have got a load of sums and evidence and whatever that could explain the £200 million.
It's possible.
Monday, 29 June 2009
Still Sapping Somerset
If Bullying is the hallmark of Excellence in Somerset, then surely SAP must be its pinnacle. An enterprise-wide solution (aka "a Problem in Disguise") costing tens of millions of pounds, being managed by a foreign body, is held up as the ultimate achievement of the Excellence Years (2003-2009).
So it was a bit of a disappointment to be joined by someone claiming to be a "School Bursar" when we were discussing it down at the Dog & Duck last night.
A growing number of regulars work for organisations who are owed money by SAP but have not been paid, ("it's getting silly!" is the sort of facile statement we are having to put up with from ignorant yokels who do contracting or whatever for the Council).
'You think you've got problems,' said the Bursar, 'schools haven't been able to reconcile SIMS to SAP since the beginning of the year!'
'Huh?' chorused the ignorant yokels.
'What's that got to do with how I'm supposed to pay my wages tomorrow?' yelled some lout from the bar.
'What's a SIM?' asked Daffer.
'SIMS' the Bursar corrected him. 'It's the schools' management system, what we do our accounts on.'
Now, if Albert Einstein were still with us, he would have understood immediately. But for the rest of us, this poor Bursar chappie had to spell it out before we would allow him to go back to drowning his sorrows at the bar.
It seems that the County spends most of our money (hundreds of millions a year, in fact) through schools, and the schools all do their own budgeting. Now, due to the SAP débâcle, none of them can check that they've got it right this year, and if they haven't .... well they won't find out about it until it's too late anyway.
None of which will explain how SAP's creditors are supposed to pay their wages this week ... :-(
So it was a bit of a disappointment to be joined by someone claiming to be a "School Bursar" when we were discussing it down at the Dog & Duck last night.
A growing number of regulars work for organisations who are owed money by SAP but have not been paid, ("it's getting silly!" is the sort of facile statement we are having to put up with from ignorant yokels who do contracting or whatever for the Council).
'You think you've got problems,' said the Bursar, 'schools haven't been able to reconcile SIMS to SAP since the beginning of the year!'
'Huh?' chorused the ignorant yokels.
'What's that got to do with how I'm supposed to pay my wages tomorrow?' yelled some lout from the bar.
'What's a SIM?' asked Daffer.
'SIMS' the Bursar corrected him. 'It's the schools' management system, what we do our accounts on.'
Now, if Albert Einstein were still with us, he would have understood immediately. But for the rest of us, this poor Bursar chappie had to spell it out before we would allow him to go back to drowning his sorrows at the bar.
It seems that the County spends most of our money (hundreds of millions a year, in fact) through schools, and the schools all do their own budgeting. Now, due to the SAP débâcle, none of them can check that they've got it right this year, and if they haven't .... well they won't find out about it until it's too late anyway.
None of which will explain how SAP's creditors are supposed to pay their wages this week ... :-(
Wednesday, 17 June 2009
What the SAP ...
Monday, 15 June 2009
A farewell to Excellence?
It has been pointed out to us that without Bullying we may also have to say au revoir (sorry, that should read “adieu”, get it right Duck!) to our old friend Excellence.
As for whatever it was that would have lain “Beyond Excellence”, well without the Bully Boys to tell us we’ve reached it, that will return to the realms of Scientific Impossibility. (Hey! Maybe that will speed Albert Einstein’s return from the Loony Bin! Ed.)
You see, as we have hinted in the past (but not properly explained – yet), there is an inextricable link between Excellence and Bullying in Somerset. It’s to do with these people from London and Brussels and places like that, who send little men called “inspectors” to Somerset. We’ll get Carla to explain how it works – next time she is in Somerset.
Meanwhile, we just hope that the new members will realise that the ignorant yokels won’t even notice if they shed the plus, or even a star or two. In fact, if it means more resources for libraries, PMCs, roads, achievement, care, etc. …. then we may actually welcome it!
As for whatever it was that would have lain “Beyond Excellence”, well without the Bully Boys to tell us we’ve reached it, that will return to the realms of Scientific Impossibility. (Hey! Maybe that will speed Albert Einstein’s return from the Loony Bin! Ed.)
You see, as we have hinted in the past (but not properly explained – yet), there is an inextricable link between Excellence and Bullying in Somerset. It’s to do with these people from London and Brussels and places like that, who send little men called “inspectors” to Somerset. We’ll get Carla to explain how it works – next time she is in Somerset.
Meanwhile, we just hope that the new members will realise that the ignorant yokels won’t even notice if they shed the plus, or even a star or two. In fact, if it means more resources for libraries, PMCs, roads, achievement, care, etc. …. then we may actually welcome it!
Monday, 8 June 2009
A farewell to Bullying?
When new Leader Ken Maddock interviews Jonesy later on today, we hope he will make one thing, above all others, absolutely clear.
There must be no more bullying at SCC. No bullying of staff, and certainly no bullying of Councillors.
You see, the recently consulted electorate has a right to expect its representatives to ask questions of senior managers - however “unhelpful” such questions are considered to be.
We also have a right to expect that our representatives can ask questions without fear of incurring a trawl of the thousands of SCC employees to see whether they might have ever said, done or thought anything that anyone could possibly consider to be inappropriate, unhelpful, rude, exasperated, or downright despairing.
Not many people on God's Earth could survive such a trawl unscathed, and unless Ken gets this straight right from the start, then we really did waste our time at the booths on Thursday.
Thanks Ken!
There must be no more bullying at SCC. No bullying of staff, and certainly no bullying of Councillors.
You see, the recently consulted electorate has a right to expect its representatives to ask questions of senior managers - however “unhelpful” such questions are considered to be.
We also have a right to expect that our representatives can ask questions without fear of incurring a trawl of the thousands of SCC employees to see whether they might have ever said, done or thought anything that anyone could possibly consider to be inappropriate, unhelpful, rude, exasperated, or downright despairing.
Not many people on God's Earth could survive such a trawl unscathed, and unless Ken gets this straight right from the start, then we really did waste our time at the booths on Thursday.
Thanks Ken!
Friday, 5 June 2009
Cultural Bullying?
Now that the elections are all over, the landlord is allowing us to post again. Hurray!
So … regardless of who wins the elections (party-wise that is), we feel that the issue of Bullying ought to be addressed by the new members. You see, down at the Dog & Duck we agree with Sir Chris Clarke that this sort of thing is a bit unhealthy, and really shouldn’t be allowed.
Some of the latest raw material can be found in this article, which needs reading ...
Expect more on bullying from the Dog & Duck in coming weeks, drawing on the archives and personal experiences of the regular and casual clientèle.
So … regardless of who wins the elections (party-wise that is), we feel that the issue of Bullying ought to be addressed by the new members. You see, down at the Dog & Duck we agree with Sir Chris Clarke that this sort of thing is a bit unhealthy, and really shouldn’t be allowed.
Some of the latest raw material can be found in this article, which needs reading ...
Expect more on bullying from the Dog & Duck in coming weeks, drawing on the archives and personal experiences of the regular and casual clientèle.
Saturday, 23 May 2009
Election Special
Now, as you know we are not allowed to do "Politics" (as in parties and what-not), but we are allowed to invite our fellow yokels to print out the above poster and to ask their candidates to sign up to the Dog & Duck Principles.
These are fairly basic really, and should be accessible to ANY candidate worth voting for, whatever their party (even members of the "bring your own bottle" party and other tight gits).
The Dog & Duck principles are:-
1. No Spin;
2. No Bull;
3. No Sh1t;
4. No Lies (or any variation thereof);
5. No Bullying (not even of Councillors);
6. If it ain't broke, don't screw it up (however fashionable it may be to do so);
7. If it is broke, don't pretent it ain't broke;
etc.
In respect of the seventh principle, we hope that the new members will realise that we may be simple, but we are not stupid, and can actually be quite forgiving really!
Wednesday, 20 May 2009
SAP it?
We’re having trouble understanding why everyone is getting their knickers in a twist about the SAP.
It’s only a computer system, after all, and the Council’s computer systems seem to be up and down like a tart’s … er, well … a lot anyway. Every time you ‘phone one of those infamous 0845 numbers about anything these days, they always seem to say ‘sorry love, the computers are down’, before explaining that in any case they can’t do anything for anyone about anything, because even though they’ve recorded everything about everyone, they haven’t yet been told anything about anything.
OK, so maybe SAP doesn’t have a great track record elsewhere, but nowhere else is “the best on the planet”, is it?
Also, no-one else can boast the resourcing that “the best on the planet” is able to provide. Take the Council Tax. It went up by 2.7%, against inflation of 0.5%. Even in Albert Einstein’s (hopefully temporary) absence, we can still work out that this means an extra £4,294,114 to spend on SAP (190,000 taxpayers, average tax of £1,027.30, 2.2% margin over inflation).
And if you add the £4,000,000 they’ve saved by cuts to libraries, roads, achievement, care, the PMC, etc., then that is WELL OVER £8,000,000 to spend on flying in armies of Bangalori analysts and programmers to work furiously in Taunton basements.
All this, of course, is in addition to the efforts of the “SuperUsers”, who swoop up and down the corridors of County Hall, capes swirling, fingers gliding over keyboards and elsewhere, soothing digital distress.
And as if that were not enough, there are all those key managers wandering around monitoring progress, logging disasters and having meetings in a place they call the War Room, about keys and other essential “issues around” security and data and stuff like that. Meetings have a proven track record of coming up with evidence of Excellence in the face of reality, and we are confident that the keys are being well managed.
Remember also that these guys are used to managing on the brink of chaos – according to Jonesy’s presentations around the world, they’ve been doing it for years.
So there may be a bit more confusion around than usual, but luckily we are dealing with committed partners here, so where’s the problem?
It’s only a computer system, after all, and the Council’s computer systems seem to be up and down like a tart’s … er, well … a lot anyway. Every time you ‘phone one of those infamous 0845 numbers about anything these days, they always seem to say ‘sorry love, the computers are down’, before explaining that in any case they can’t do anything for anyone about anything, because even though they’ve recorded everything about everyone, they haven’t yet been told anything about anything.
OK, so maybe SAP doesn’t have a great track record elsewhere, but nowhere else is “the best on the planet”, is it?
Also, no-one else can boast the resourcing that “the best on the planet” is able to provide. Take the Council Tax. It went up by 2.7%, against inflation of 0.5%. Even in Albert Einstein’s (hopefully temporary) absence, we can still work out that this means an extra £4,294,114 to spend on SAP (190,000 taxpayers, average tax of £1,027.30, 2.2% margin over inflation).
And if you add the £4,000,000 they’ve saved by cuts to libraries, roads, achievement, care, the PMC, etc., then that is WELL OVER £8,000,000 to spend on flying in armies of Bangalori analysts and programmers to work furiously in Taunton basements.
All this, of course, is in addition to the efforts of the “SuperUsers”, who swoop up and down the corridors of County Hall, capes swirling, fingers gliding over keyboards and elsewhere, soothing digital distress.
And as if that were not enough, there are all those key managers wandering around monitoring progress, logging disasters and having meetings in a place they call the War Room, about keys and other essential “issues around” security and data and stuff like that. Meetings have a proven track record of coming up with evidence of Excellence in the face of reality, and we are confident that the keys are being well managed.
Remember also that these guys are used to managing on the brink of chaos – according to Jonesy’s presentations around the world, they’ve been doing it for years.
So there may be a bit more confusion around than usual, but luckily we are dealing with committed partners here, so where’s the problem?
Monday, 11 May 2009
Best in the Country?
Not quite "Bratislava", but last week an independent outside observer said that "... Somerset is the best performing county in the country ..." thanks to Jonesy.
Now a year ago, the same chap was demanding a public apology from the Audit Commission for labelling his own Council "the worst in the country". (Liverpool Daily Post, Feb 9 2008).
Anyone else could be forgiven for becoming rather confused at this stage. But even without Albert Einstein to guide us, the regulars have a genius for seeing through fog and confusion to identify the intelligent solution.
In this case it is rather obvious: Jonesy simply goes back to Liverpool (taking Simon with him), and bingo ...
Within weeks the Audit Commission would be forced into a regrading and inventing a new accolade. Something like "Worst on the Planet" should do it!
Now a year ago, the same chap was demanding a public apology from the Audit Commission for labelling his own Council "the worst in the country". (Liverpool Daily Post, Feb 9 2008).
Anyone else could be forgiven for becoming rather confused at this stage. But even without Albert Einstein to guide us, the regulars have a genius for seeing through fog and confusion to identify the intelligent solution.
In this case it is rather obvious: Jonesy simply goes back to Liverpool (taking Simon with him), and bingo ...
Within weeks the Audit Commission would be forced into a regrading and inventing a new accolade. Something like "Worst on the Planet" should do it!
Saturday, 9 May 2009
Allez Jim! Go Doug!
In the week that Somerset achieved its latest accolade: a well-deserved mention in the “Rotten Boroughs” section of Private Eye (“vindictive campaign backfires”); and Dog & Duck regulars achieved previously unimagined depths of despair; a bit of good news came in from – of all places – You Tube!
The latest “SCC – politico-administrative disaster area” video was, potentially, yet another wrench to the already pummelled gut of Joe Public. We saw it just before closing time on Friday evening. It had been up less than twelve hours, but had already been viewed more than 100 times!
At first even the battle-hardened regulars were shocked at just how rude and disrespectful Simon (£4 million) Clifford was to Mr. Buchanan.
‘Well, b*gger it Duck,’ said Pat, ‘just exactly who is supposed to be smearing who?’
‘Hang on, hang on,’ said Daff, ‘wind back a minute … that looked like our Jim!’
‘You’re dead right, Daff!’ said I, ‘and the other one’s Doug!’
Well, how about that for a turn up? At least one, maybe two representatives from Dog & Duck country apparently showing public support for Paul van Buitenen! (sorry, meant to say “Buchanan” – Freudian slip).
So it’s not just Sir Chris Clarke making a stand then. And the landlord was totally made up (Jim’s a mate of his) - so much so that he allowed us to write this post, which almost strays into the forbidden realms of “Politics”.
See the complete video here.
Maybe they’re not all a bunch of lily-livered lemmings! Maybe we will bother to vote after all!
And anyway - we're a County, not a "Borough".
The latest “SCC – politico-administrative disaster area” video was, potentially, yet another wrench to the already pummelled gut of Joe Public. We saw it just before closing time on Friday evening. It had been up less than twelve hours, but had already been viewed more than 100 times!
At first even the battle-hardened regulars were shocked at just how rude and disrespectful Simon (£4 million) Clifford was to Mr. Buchanan.
‘Well, b*gger it Duck,’ said Pat, ‘just exactly who is supposed to be smearing who?’
‘Hang on, hang on,’ said Daff, ‘wind back a minute … that looked like our Jim!’
‘You’re dead right, Daff!’ said I, ‘and the other one’s Doug!’
Well, how about that for a turn up? At least one, maybe two representatives from Dog & Duck country apparently showing public support for Paul van Buitenen! (sorry, meant to say “Buchanan” – Freudian slip).
So it’s not just Sir Chris Clarke making a stand then. And the landlord was totally made up (Jim’s a mate of his) - so much so that he allowed us to write this post, which almost strays into the forbidden realms of “Politics”.
See the complete video here.
Maybe they’re not all a bunch of lily-livered lemmings! Maybe we will bother to vote after all!
And anyway - we're a County, not a "Borough".
Friday, 8 May 2009
And they expect us to bother to vote?
Hard to believe, but some of the regulars were approached by electioneering types yesterday.
Apparently there is this thing called a "Council Election" coming up, and a bunch of them were out there with their clipboards and surveillance footage. They were trying to persuade the ignorant yokels to get out of bed on some day next month to go down and vote for a new Councillor.
Meanwhile - and believe this or not, as you wish ... one of the regulars is actually a "leading light" of a high-powered local organisation. She was able to confirm that there is in fact an election coming up soon, as it was mentioned at a meeting of this particular body. There was an issue, you see, over something the Council was supposed to be doing (no! not filling in potholes on the roads - we've given up on that one!).
It seems that one board member suggested that now would be a good time to raise the issue with the relevant Councillor, given that there was this election coming up. The suggestion was greeted with derisive hooting and snorting, and a scornful 'you don't seriously think the Councillors run that place do you?'
As the Dog & Duck is most definitely a secret society (Landlord's rule 1), our colleague was obliged to say nothing throughout this exchange (which became quite heated by all accounts). However, she did tell us all about it last night, in a discussion about the depths to which the expectations of Somerset residents have plunged over the past few years.
The discussion was prompted by this article about how the Buchanan saga has been allowed to drag on YET AGAIN, and how the ruling Junta has managed to drag Sir Chris Clarke into the fray. Now, he's one we HAVE heard of. He was leader of the Council in the days when the politicians were in charge. They even had a word for it. Let me see ... oh yes! "Democracy" they called it.
Down at the Dog & Duck we have another term for it. We call it "the good old days".
Apparently there is this thing called a "Council Election" coming up, and a bunch of them were out there with their clipboards and surveillance footage. They were trying to persuade the ignorant yokels to get out of bed on some day next month to go down and vote for a new Councillor.
Meanwhile - and believe this or not, as you wish ... one of the regulars is actually a "leading light" of a high-powered local organisation. She was able to confirm that there is in fact an election coming up soon, as it was mentioned at a meeting of this particular body. There was an issue, you see, over something the Council was supposed to be doing (no! not filling in potholes on the roads - we've given up on that one!).
It seems that one board member suggested that now would be a good time to raise the issue with the relevant Councillor, given that there was this election coming up. The suggestion was greeted with derisive hooting and snorting, and a scornful 'you don't seriously think the Councillors run that place do you?'
As the Dog & Duck is most definitely a secret society (Landlord's rule 1), our colleague was obliged to say nothing throughout this exchange (which became quite heated by all accounts). However, she did tell us all about it last night, in a discussion about the depths to which the expectations of Somerset residents have plunged over the past few years.
The discussion was prompted by this article about how the Buchanan saga has been allowed to drag on YET AGAIN, and how the ruling Junta has managed to drag Sir Chris Clarke into the fray. Now, he's one we HAVE heard of. He was leader of the Council in the days when the politicians were in charge. They even had a word for it. Let me see ... oh yes! "Democracy" they called it.
Down at the Dog & Duck we have another term for it. We call it "the good old days".
Monday, 27 April 2009
Best on the Planet?
Many thanks to the CHUM agent who sent us a link to this story about some place called “Bratislava” in a country called “Slovakia”.
Hearing the word “Bratislava” (trans. “Best on the Planet” Ed.), the ignorant yokels thought that we were talking about a primary school built on the side of a Volcano! How about that for proving their Council is right, and that they are only fit for local jobs? At best.
Luckily, the Dog & Duck core team is rather more cosmopolitan, and was able to look up “Slovakia” on Google, discovering that it is in fact a place right in the middle of Europe (formerly linked to another place once referred to as “a far away place”).
‘Einstein territory …’ Pat observed, prompting a moment’s silence to respect the memory of the sanity of our friend and former Excellence Analyst, Albert.
‘That’s not a proper country,’ announced Daffer, ‘it hasn’t even got a coastline!’
Anyway, whoever these strange foreigners are, it seems that someone claiming to be our Jonesy was helping them to deal with something called “the Global Fiscal Crisis” last week.
We eventually concluded that it had to be an imposter, since Jonesy has been far too busy at the SAP helpdesk to go swanning off up the Danube (with or without a paddle).
Also, the slideshow purporting to be his was far too sober (no colour for example), and devoid of the Excellence Delusion.
But there is an intriguing reference to “Managing on the edge of chaos” …. that certainly rang a bell! (Yes! He's back! But for how long this time?)
Hearing the word “Bratislava” (trans. “Best on the Planet” Ed.), the ignorant yokels thought that we were talking about a primary school built on the side of a Volcano! How about that for proving their Council is right, and that they are only fit for local jobs? At best.
Luckily, the Dog & Duck core team is rather more cosmopolitan, and was able to look up “Slovakia” on Google, discovering that it is in fact a place right in the middle of Europe (formerly linked to another place once referred to as “a far away place”).
‘Einstein territory …’ Pat observed, prompting a moment’s silence to respect the memory of the sanity of our friend and former Excellence Analyst, Albert.
‘That’s not a proper country,’ announced Daffer, ‘it hasn’t even got a coastline!’
Anyway, whoever these strange foreigners are, it seems that someone claiming to be our Jonesy was helping them to deal with something called “the Global Fiscal Crisis” last week.
We eventually concluded that it had to be an imposter, since Jonesy has been far too busy at the SAP helpdesk to go swanning off up the Danube (with or without a paddle).
Also, the slideshow purporting to be his was far too sober (no colour for example), and devoid of the Excellence Delusion.
But there is an intriguing reference to “Managing on the edge of chaos” …. that certainly rang a bell! (Yes! He's back! But for how long this time?)
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